Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Southern Astrological Signs

Received this via email. Although I'm not all that into astrology...I thought this was cute...mostly because the "signs" would make for cute pet names - just call me Okra! LOL

Some people (especially Southerners) are pretty skeptical of horoscopes, and it has become obvious that what they need are their own “Southern” astrological signs.

OKRA (Dec 22 – Jan 20) Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 – Feb 19) Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he’s motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 – Mar 20) You have an overwhelming curiosity. You’re unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don’t worry about it.

MOON PIE (Mar 21 – Apr 20) You’re the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It’s a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It’s not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Or – maybe not.

POSSUM (Apr 21 – May 21) When confronted with life’s difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don’t-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you’re dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won’t work and you may find your problems actually running you over.

CRAWFISH (May 22 – June 21) Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you’re always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 – July 23) Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the “melting pot” of life and share their essence with the essence of those round them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won’t work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 – Aug 23) Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one’s whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 – Sept 23) Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 – Oct 23) You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best – your friends and loved ones – may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 – Nov 22) Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You’ve grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn’t have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 – Dec 21) You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You’re not concerned with today’s fashions and trends. You’re not concerned with anything about today. You’re really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.

Did you notice that the dates are different than what you normally might be familiar with (if you are familiar with astrology)? I always thought Capricorns (a.k.a. Okras) started later than that and ended in February. Well, thanks to Wikipedia, I've discovered that there are different kinds of astrology...and you can read about the difference between Tropical & Sidereal here. Whats weirder is the Tropical is the one I should be familiar with (living in the Western Hemisphere), but it's not, I'm more familiar with the Sidereal dates! Whatever.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

SPAM Emails

It never ceases to amaze me the amount of SPAM emails I receive. And the lengths some people will go to to get me to read them (but I never get past the subject lines). Here's a few from the last week...
Meet the Famous Mr. X - I'll admit, I'm curious, but I still didn't read the email!

Super Advice Dog! - Really? Who needs advice from a dog??

RE: Safely Talk And Drive At The Same Time - this one made me think of that email that was circulating a few years ago (it was a joke email) - here's the product....

Given that I was able to find a photo of a product, I'm ashamed to say that someone took that joke email seriously!

Med that will make you feel more relaxed - I'm always up for something relaxing (do I take it or do I give it to my kids to make them go away??)

For guys only - they why send it to me??

Cash in with Facebook, Twitter and Email Sending - yes, because it's really working for you!

And the one that made me decide to blog this subject in the first place....

What s in Obama's butt - I don't know and I don't care!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

What an appetite!

My Girl fixed herself a snack today...she prepared all of these items herself and sat down to eat them. She ate them in this order:
  1. meat stick
  2. the cream inside vanilla oreos (she opened each one & licked them clean), then ate the cookies
  3. salt & vinegar chips

Then she came up to me and said "my tummy hurts"

Really, she does have better taste in food than this!!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Interview with a Boy

My Boy that is. I actually did this with him in May...and forgot to post it. He's 9 now...but everything still pretty much rings true!
  1. How old are you?
  2. When is your birthday?
    August 22
  3. What was the best gift you've ever received?
    Nintendo DS
  4. What didn't you get that you really wanted?
    Pokemon Platinum (DS game)
  5. What is your favorite thing about school?
  6. What is your least favorite thing about school?
  7. Who is your favorite person in the whole word?
  8. Who are all the people in your family?
    My sister, my Mom, my Dad, my cousins, my Uncle, my Aunt, my Grandpa and Grandmas and my cat.
  9. What is your favorite food?
  10. What is your favorite toy?
  11. What is something mommy/daddy always says to you?
    Mom: go to your room or be quiet
    Dad: go downstairs to watch tv
  12. What makes you happy?
    playing my DS
  13. What makes mommy/daddy happy?
    Mom: me being happy
    Dad: me being happy
  14. What makes you sad?
    getting a wack on the butt with a belt
  15. What makes mommy/daddy sad?
    Mom: me being sad
    Dad: me being sad
  16. How do mommy/daddy make you laugh?
    Mom: tickle me
    Dad: Tickles me & giving me wedgies
  17. What were mommy/daddy like when they were little?
    Mom: annoying (who did I annoy?) Grandma & Grandpa
    Dad: British
  18. How old are your mommy/daddy?
    Mom: 41
    Dad: 41 also
  19. How tall are your mommy/daddy?
    Mom: 62 inches (he measured me)
    Dad: 72 inches (he guesses)
  20. What are mommy/daddy really good at?
    Mom: tickling me
    Dad: tickling me
  21. What are mommy/daddy not very good at?
    Mom: math (his first answer was sports)
    Dad: doing reading
  22. What do mommy/daddy do for their jobs?
    Mom: mailings
    Dad: mailings
  23. What is mommy/daddy’s favorite food?
    Mom: tacos
    Dad: KFC
  24. What makes you proud of mommy/daddy?
    Mom: playing with me
    Dad: giving me outdoor jobs
  25. If mommy/daddy were a cartoon character, what would they be?
    Mom: scooby do
    Dad: shaggy
  26. What do you do with mommy/daddy?
    Mom: watch tv
    Dad: outside jobs
  27. How are you and mommy/daddy the same?
    Mom: we're both happy at the same time
    Dad: we like to give each other wedgies
  28. How are you and mommy/daddy different?
    Mom: you're a girl & I'm a boy
    Dad: he likes chicken wings but I hate them
  29. How do you know mommy/daddy love you?
    Mom: cuz you tell me
    Dad: i have no clue
  30. What is one thing you would change about mommy/daddy?
    Mom: to be a boy
    Dad: not make me do so much stuff so I can play with him
  31. What do you like about your sister?
    she's very creative
  32. What don't you like about sister?
    she's annoying
  33. What do you want to be when you grow up?
  34. What is your favorite TV show?
  35. What is your favorite number?
  36. What is your favorite color?
  37. What is your favorite animal?
    penquins (first answer was sharks)
  38. What is your favorite time of year?
    my birthday
  39. What are you most looking forward to now that you are 8.5 years old?
    getting Pokemon Platinum (for his birthday)